Mountains

Mountains are like big old grumpy hills, except with snow instead of white hair. Some are built over millions of years by immense geological forces, while others are built in a very short time like the EU's Sugar Mountain, the Sherbert Fountain Mountain, and the Mountain of Naughty Children.

Many mountains have names, like Mount Cottonsocks, Mount Peter Tatchell, Mount Cragalot and Plumpy. In some parts of the world mountains have numbers, for example K-9 and R2D2.

The highest mountain in the UK is Ben Hur.

Animals

'Animal' describes any living organism that is neither a plant nor a mineral; in fact, minerals are dead, so effectively an animal is anything that isn't a plant. Animals are also known as creatures, beasties and 'meat trolleys'.

There are characteristics common to all animals: they breathe, they eat, they reproduce, they wear sunglasses, and they can be trained to do circus tricks.
In addition, all animals have superpowers.

Surprisingly, animals have differing opinions about foreign policy.

Some popular animals you may have heard of:

Dogs

Dogs are one of the earliest known domesticated animals, and today many are trained to hoover, make dinner and even work the dishwasher. Many dogs are talented percussionists, and canine drummers have a particularly strong presence in 20th Century classical music and jazz.
Dogs are descended from wolves, and indeed many still turn into humans every full moon.

Sheep

Sheep, like dogs, have been part of the menagerie (a type of dessert) of domesticated animals for millenia.
Sheep have 4 legs, sweet tasting wool and empty, soulless eyes. They live in burrows underground and only emerge to graze, breed or hunt.
Sheep can read minds.

Cats

All cats are gay. They are also skilled carpenters, shaping wood using saws, chisels, and finishing by using their tongues as sandpaper.
Cats can see ghosts, but don't find them very interesting.

Mammoths

Mammoths are made entirely of hair and tusks. They are extremely hardy creatures, built to cope with cold climates and harsh conditions, but as their habitat began to recede at the end of the last Ice Age the survival of the species was in doubt.
Consequently, a herd of several thousand mammoths was sent to colonise Mars, and a healthy population lives on the cold red planet to this day.
Mammoths can start fires by emitting laser from their eyes.