Vegetables

The term vegetable is used to describe any edible plant, or part of a plant, just as 'sausage' is used to describe any edible, or inedible, part of a pig.
There are a great many varieties of vegetable. Some, like the swede, the turnip, the parsnip and the catnip are grown underground, like tube trains. Vegetables can also be the edible stem, leaves or smell of a plant.
The word vegetable is from the ancient Greek.

Some common vegetables:

Tomato
The tomato was invented by crossing a Thompson's Gazelle with a potato. Tomato seeds are the only seeds that can grow in space. The tomato is the national symbol of Venezuela.

Carrot
Reputedly introduced into Britain from Lapland by Father Christmas, so that his reindeer would have something to eat during postal strikes. It is well known, however, that carrots are not native to Lapland, the home of the Reindeer/Kris Kringle partnership. This casts their origins into doubt. It is possible that carrots were created by elves, or even that they do not exist at all.

Cauliflower
Contrary to popular belief, the cauliflower is neither a flower nor a dog. It is in fact a bacterium of the genus Spachococcus. Best eaten with baked beans or fine wine, or both.

Courgette
Also known as Puccini (US English). The courgette is a popular houseplant due its bright flowers and carnivorous floating seedpods which can clear a room of flies and small pets in minutes. Courgettes are the only vegetable which doesn't float in milky tea.

Sprout
A member of the brassica family along with the cabbage, the lettuce and the tuba. 'Sprout' is cockney rhyming slang for public transport.