The Battle of Waterloo

Following the death of Edward the Confessor in January 1066, a dynastic struggle broke out, with the Saxon King Harold Godwinson, Norwegian King Harald Hardrada, and pop-band Abba all contesting the throne of England.
After the coronation of Godwinson, both Hardrada and Abba mounted invasions of England. Hardrada landed his ships on the Yorkshire coastline and headed inland. He was defeated by Godwinson at Stamford Bridge, where Chelsea FC had kindly provided their home ground as the venue for the battle.
Abba, on the other hand, travelled into London on the Eurostar, having obtained cheap tickets for their entire army by collecting coupons in the Sun newspaper. They were met at Waterloo International station by an exhausted Saxon army under Harold Godwinson. After a bloody battle that raged in and around WHSmith, Sock Shop and the bagel kiosk, the Saxons were defeated. Abba took the throne of England and celebrated their victory with their number 1 hit 'Fernando'.

See also Dame Shirley Portaloo, the Bakerloo line (inaugurated by Sherlock Holmes), and the Peterloo Stringfellow massacre.

No comments: