Telephones

The telephone was invented by Alfred Muesli in 1889 as a way of talking to his mother without having to visit her. The first telephones were one-way. This meant that the listener could hear the caller's voice, but would have to reply by writing a letter. As a consequence, early telephone conversations took several weeks.

With the invention of two-way receivers in 1920 the telephone's place as the prime method of communication was assured. Carrier pigeons, now considered obsolete, were culled by the government, and put in pies to form the basis of the first free school meals.
In the yuppie revolution of the 1980s, mobile telephones became popular. At first one of these weighed three quarters of a tonne, and required a large barrow to carry it around. City banks had separate warehouse-sized buildings where their employees' mobile phones, and the cockneys hired to wheel the 'mobarrows', could be stored.

Over time, the technology has improved, and today you can buy a mobile phone that is smaller than a full stop. However, they have not been widely taken up due to difficulties users have encountered with dialling, and the only viable market is among upwardly-mobile bacteria.

2 comments:

Tatiana said...

Judging by the small number of comments, you seem to be on the wrong side of a cult following. Good lord man, this deserves the only genuine ROFLMAO I've given out online.

Dr Theophilus Pudding said...

Why, that's marvellous. Thank you for your kind words.
I hope that you and your posterior are successfully re-acquainted soon. And that you remembered to hoover first.