Volcanoes

Volcanoes are formed when the Earth's tectonic plates swell up and burst, and molten lava comes steaming through like hot custard. Like a well-made custard, molten lava smothers and burns everything in its path, destroying trees, houses, cars and hopefully Robert Kilroy Silk.

One famous volcanic eruption was in AD79 when the rebel slave leader Circduglus pulled the plug from the top of Mount Vesuvius, releasing the lava and destroying the towns of Pompous, Humungous and Myopia.

These days, most volcanoes are extinct, as the species has been out-competed by mountains, which are far more adaptable and amenable and are therefore more widespread.

Some famous volcanoes include Mr Hottie, Mt. Burnalot, The Devil's Bidet, and Le Dejeuner Chaud de St Hubert.